


Fourth of July

by Bunsandpups



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-02
Updated: 2015-10-02
Packaged: 2018-04-24 10:50:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4916698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bunsandpups/pseuds/Bunsandpups
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fireworks are usually something to look forward to, but this year Dean has something else to think about. Destiel angst.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fourth of July

_“Cas, you have to come with me. You can’t stay here.” Castiel shook his head. He couldn’t let Dean and Benny get ripped to shreds by the monsters he was facing. He deserved to be here._

_“Go, Dean. The portal’s closing. You’re going to get stuck here if you don’t go now. Both of you. Go!”_

___

That was more than three months ago. The memory still flashed through Dean’s mind. He took another swig from the beer in his hands. Sam was… somewhere… and he had the room to himself for a while. A thought tugged at Dean’s mind and told him that Sam was out for a few hours, but he wasn’t sure how much time had passed where he’d just be sitting there. He stood up, frustrated. He felt like a caged animal, and the noise going on outside didn’t make him feel any better.

The Fourth of July was supposed to be a time where he and Sam were free to act like little kids again. Everyone usually took the night off unless there was some important hunt going on. Otherwise, everyone got together to appreciate the show. And those that didn’t were always grateful for the gunshot cover.

Dean couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt really free to enjoy the fireworks, but this was the first year he could ever recall where he’d been alive for them and missed them. _I can’t go. I don’t want to be surrounded by that many people._

Truthfully, Dean had no right to feel this way. People died. People got left behind. If those weren’t the two core truths of being a hunter, he’d sit down and take a vampire out for a nice steak dinner. Still, something inside him ached. It ached differently than when he’d been in Hell or Purgatory, and certainly differently from when Sam had been going crazy on demon blood.

“Dammit, Cas. Why couldn’t you trust me? Why couldn’t you just… hop in? Benny did it. Benny didn’t even know me outside that place, but you. You were family. But you just… stayed behind. Family doesn’t do that!” Dean threw the bottle at the tiled bathroom floor, huffing. He was partially annoyed that he’d now have to clean up the mess, but also that Cas was gone. It was the exact same feeling Dean had from watching Sam get swallowed up by that damned cavern.

“You were supposed to come home. You weren’t supposed to leave me like this.” The words were strangled, and Dean coughed. He got to work cleaning up the lukewarm beer and glass to distract himself. _Cas loved summertime. He always said it made everything feel better. He said that Eden was built to be eternal summer, lush gardens, the works. I wonder if he liked fireworks? I should have taken him along sometime._ The regret was piling on top of itself, crashing against Dean’s mind over and over again.

He threw the glass away and sat back down on the edge of his bed. _I just want you to come back, Cas. I miss you so much. I can’t keep spending my life hiding this. We could’ve been something, maybe honorary brothers, maybe more. But dammit Cas, I need you to come home now. Can’t you hear me? You always could before. Come home. Please, Cas_. Tears started to slip from Dean’s eyes, and he cupped his face in his hands. “Please just come home, Cas. I miss you. I love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> This came to me when AB/AP was still a fairly new record and I couldn't stop listening to Fourth of July. I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
